Content Warning: this blog post contains discussions of gun violence and other violent imagery.

Language can have a powerful influence on how we understand our relationships to the world and one another, and many people don’t realize that the English language contains many common phrases and metaphors that infer or explicitly reference violence. Invoking violent imagery casually in our daily conversations – whether professional or personal – can cause harm, particularly to individuals who have survived violent or traumatic experiences. 

“The whole human experience is constructed and viewed through the lens of language because this is the only tool available to describe interactions with the world.” – University of Idaho Women’s Center

Phrases like “roll with the punches” and “dodged a bullet” may seem entirely commonplace, but it’s worthwhile to take a step back and become aware of the words and history behind such language. Many seemingly innocuous phrases have much darker, graphically violent connotations. Awareness is the first step to understanding how language plays an important role in shaping our reality. Try to start questioning phrases you commonly use. 

Trauma and prolonged exposure to adverse experiences affect our bodies’ stress response and can send us into a perpetual state of “fight or flight.” As the authors of Therapeutic Communication for Health Care Administrators point out, “[t]he traumatized client may feel like danger lurks around the corner constantly.” Violent metaphors may unintentionally cause a stress response, even if there is no actual threat of violence present. 

According to the Friends Association, an organization providing trauma-informed programs and services to prevent homelessness in families with children, trauma-informed language is defined as “the way we communicate with and about individuals who have experienced trauma. The goal is to create a safe and supportive environment by avoiding language that could be re-traumatizing. Using trauma-informed language helps reduce the risk of further harm and supports healing and recovery.” 

We have an opportunity to build a sense of safety into our communication. We can update our language to make others feel safer and move away from violent metaphors. Get curious about the “why” and you will probably start noticing a lot more. In addition to preventing re-traumatization, avoiding metaphors and common phrases can also enhance clarity in our communication. For example, “I’ll take a shot at it” is less descriptive than “I’ll write a first draft.” To help you get started, below are some common phrases that can be replaced with more inclusive language.